Messy Life Crazy Chronicles

 We are all given a name at birth by our parents or a loved one. It's something we carry around with us all  our lives that identify us. It's on our birth certificate, social security cards, school records, medical  records and driver license. But it's much more than that it's how we know people are talking to us. We feel  connected to our names and are proud of our names. Well, I have never liked my given name never  thought it fit me at all. After 2021 and what happened to me, I felt disconnected to my name like someone  was slapping me in my face every time someone would say it. I would physically cringe at the sound of  my name. So, I been looking for a new name to call myself and later legally change it to. I had thought I found one but no didn't stick but I kept feeling really disconnected to my name. Then I thought maybe  I should ask God to give me a new name. I prayed and asked him to give me a new name and forgot I had asked him two years ago. SO, recently

 I am sorry I haven't been making my blog like I was before. I been busy studying and reading my bible  and spending time in worship. To be honest I don't even know what to write about anymore. I am doing  really well,  and I am stable and doing what God called me to do. I am in love with my life for the first time in a long  time. I am thankful for all I have and even thankful for all that I don't have. I thank God for his protection  in the no and doors not opening. His protection in the removing of people in my life for God truly knows  what's best for me. I have no fear for my tomorrow because I know who holds all my days in His hands.  I would like to invite you to ask Jesus to come into your heart to be your Lord and Saviour.  please repeat this prayer after DEAR JESUS, I AM A SINNER AND I ASK YOU TO FORGIVE ME OF MY SINS KNOWINGLY AND UNKNOWNINGLY. I ASK YOU TO COME INTO MY HEART AND LIVE. PLEASE GUIDE ME AND LEAD ME ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE. I CONFESS YOU ARE GOD

 As, I am sitting here listening to music and scrolling mindlessly on Facebook. My mind starts to think on my relationship with Jesus Christ. I realized something that I didn't find Jesus in CHURCH or when I was in Ministry, I found Jesus in the pit I found and built a real relationship with Him at my lowest time in my life. I found Jesus when I looked up and everyone was gone. It took me losing it all and being by myself with no distractions to really find Him. To allow him in the secret places of my heart.  For years I knew of Jesus and claimed I had him in my heart. But when trials came into my life, I would walk away from him instead of going to Jesus with the hurt and pain. I would turn away and run. It was in that low place of not having anywhere to run to anymore or anyone, but Jesus that I really got to know Him and fall in love with Him like never before.  I am thankful for the pits that I have been placed in because that is where I have grown the most and gotten to find a

 I just heard of a rumor that was being spread about me by multiple people who hasn't been active in my life for 5 years. I am not upset or hurt, and I don't think I will ever address it directly I kind of find it funny that someone would believe it and want to gossip about me. When my true life is so much more adventurous.  But I will talk about what I have actually been doing and accomplished in those 5 years. Hold on because it's going to be wild. (nothing) During covid I became and online praise and worship singer and have sung with many ministries. Both in united states and in other countries. I also worked in person with many ministries. I left a long-term abusive relationship. I finally listen to God and left and in doing so found myself. I also learned how to stand on my own two feet.  I became a notary and did that for a while I also worked in an office and got my 1st bank account. Lost a crap load of weight by doing yoga two times a day and watching what I eat. Th

 My weekends are I guess you could say peaceful. I get up when I want and do whatever I please. I have no one to answer to. I really like living this way. Today I already cleaned up my place. Walked to the store and cooked my dinner. I have already made two blogs and watched one of my shows. Plus checked on two of my friends. I guess some would say I had a busy day today but to me it was a peaceful day. I will probably take a nap later then take a hot bath. Later tonight I will pray and read my bible. Late tonight I will put on GOLDEN GIRLS and listen/watch them while I crochet little. To me this is a perfect day. Nice and easy day doing things I love. I can't wait for tomorrow if God is willing, I am going to watch church online and washed my clothes for the week. Then hopefully I will do some of my crafts. I will defiantly be singing praise and worship songs too. Just going to enjoy my day.  Because I am now seeing how much each day is a blessing from the lord.  I want to be than

As I was typing up my last post, I started to get excited. When I started talking about Jesus and how he has never lost a fight. I been talking a lot about my life and my past hurts, but I want to refocus on all the good that has happened, and all that Jesus has done for me. I want to focus on all the good that I have experienced.   I have a roof over my head now when at recent times I didn't. I have food to eat and clean clothes when at times I didn't have either I am thankful I can walk and talk when that hasn't always been the case. I am looking at all the positives in my life yes it may not be what I want or how I like things, but I am so much better off than before. I am no longer in an abusive relationship. For the most part I have no drama in my life. Yes, its lonely for now but God is making way for new people that will love me the way I should be loved. So, I am refocusing my life to see only the good and to place my trust and hope on GOD. All He has done for me an