Why I blog.

My life is totally different in this moment in time than ever before. My eyes are wide open, and I now see people more clearly than ever before. I know who's lying to me and about me. I see the snake in the grass, and I am not the only one either. If you got to lie about me to make people like you then go ahead and keep those people because obviously you need those people more than me. See I am happy over here minding my business being myself. I now cut out anyone and anything that brings drama in my life. No, matter who they are point blank period. 

I get judge a lot because of the way I look and how I carry myself. I have 50 tattoos and I have my guard up at all times if I am in public. I really only trust maybe two people and my dog. I no longer allow people to push me around and I don't like to be around people at all. I keep my life very private to in a way this blog is a big step for me. I jokingly tell others I want a hoodie made that says, not friendly on the front and on the back don't play well with others. Because I promise you, I will no longer be made to feel less than or a joke. I will answer back now and stand up for myself and others. 

I would let the sly remark or others judge me and tell me how I feel.  Didn't want to cause waves you know rock the boat. But you can only poke the bear for so long and then you wake it. I am no longer in the victim category I am a survivor. I find it funny how by me being me intimidates others. When I am over here minding my business and staying in my lane. I spend most of my day with my dog crocheting. I really have a quiet peaceful life. Now that I cut certain people out of my life. I have people that really love me and care about me in my life. People that can't and won't let others hurt me. 

I thought a lot of the stuff I had been through was normal and okay. But when I would talk about it with others and noticed the shock and heartache in their eyes, I started to realize that wasn't the case. I now see I have allowed others to treat me and abuse me because; I thought that is what I deserved, and I could make them love me. I know now that is not how it should be. That I can stand up for myself. 

I am so thankful that God has removed those people out of my life. I now have good loving honest people in my life that check up on me daily. That allow me to express myself and be me weird and all. That know I am not trying to compete with anyone. That if I sing a song, I am not doing it to show off. I am just singing because it makes my heart happy, and I like that song.  Matter of fact I will cheer the next person on and am happy when others succeed in life. 

Even if no one ever reads what I write I am giving myself a voice that I had allowed people to quiet for way too long.