Messy Life Crazy Chronicles

 As, I am sitting here listening to music and scrolling mindlessly on Facebook. My mind starts to think on my relationship with Jesus Christ. I realized something that I didn't find Jesus in CHURCH or when I was in Ministry, I found Jesus in the pit I found and built a real relationship with Him at my lowest time in my life. I found Jesus when I looked up and everyone was gone. It took me losing it all and being by myself with no distractions to really find Him. To allow him in the secret places of my heart.  For years I knew of Jesus and claimed I had him in my heart. But when trials came into my life, I would walk away from him instead of going to Jesus with the hurt and pain. I would turn away and run. It was in that low place of not having anywhere to run to anymore or anyone, but Jesus that I really got to know Him and fall in love with Him like never before.  I am thankful for the pits that I have been placed in because that is where I have grown the most and gotten to find a

 I just heard of a rumor that was being spread about me by multiple people who hasn't been active in my life for 5 years. I am not upset or hurt, and I don't think I will ever address it directly I kind of find it funny that someone would believe it and want to gossip about me. When my true life is so much more adventurous.  But I will talk about what I have actually been doing and accomplished in those 5 years. Hold on because it's going to be wild. (nothing) During covid I became and online praise and worship singer and have sung with many ministries. Both in united states and in other countries. I also worked in person with many ministries. I left a long-term abusive relationship. I finally listen to God and left and in doing so found myself. I also learned how to stand on my own two feet.  I became a notary and did that for a while I also worked in an office and got my 1st bank account. Lost a crap load of weight by doing yoga two times a day and watching what I eat. Th

 My weekends are I guess you could say peaceful. I get up when I want and do whatever I please. I have no one to answer to. I really like living this way. Today I already cleaned up my place. Walked to the store and cooked my dinner. I have already made two blogs and watched one of my shows. Plus checked on two of my friends. I guess some would say I had a busy day today but to me it was a peaceful day. I will probably take a nap later then take a hot bath. Later tonight I will pray and read my bible. Late tonight I will put on GOLDEN GIRLS and listen/watch them while I crochet little. To me this is a perfect day. Nice and easy day doing things I love. I can't wait for tomorrow if God is willing, I am going to watch church online and washed my clothes for the week. Then hopefully I will do some of my crafts. I will defiantly be singing praise and worship songs too. Just going to enjoy my day.  Because I am now seeing how much each day is a blessing from the lord.  I want to be than

As I was typing up my last post, I started to get excited. When I started talking about Jesus and how he has never lost a fight. I been talking a lot about my life and my past hurts, but I want to refocus on all the good that has happened, and all that Jesus has done for me. I want to focus on all the good that I have experienced.   I have a roof over my head now when at recent times I didn't. I have food to eat and clean clothes when at times I didn't have either I am thankful I can walk and talk when that hasn't always been the case. I am looking at all the positives in my life yes it may not be what I want or how I like things, but I am so much better off than before. I am no longer in an abusive relationship. For the most part I have no drama in my life. Yes, its lonely for now but God is making way for new people that will love me the way I should be loved. So, I am refocusing my life to see only the good and to place my trust and hope on GOD. All He has done for me an

 I am new to this whole blog thing, but I really enjoy doing it. Iam having fun just writing and getting stuff out of my head. I been through so much crap in my life but starting here and now no more. I am going to focus on Love, Peace and Joy. If it doesn't bring me those three things I don't want it at all. I am letting all that mess go for now. Until God tells me to speak the truth and let my whole story out.  All that trauma hasn't severed me any good at all I refuse to allow it or people to bring me down and defeat me. I thank GOD that He has been with me this whole time rather I saw it at the time. That He has continue to be with me.  If I will allow him to guide me and keep me.  I do a lot of crafts some off and on, but I try to always keep myself busy. To name a few coloring,journaling,crocheting, bible journal, bullet journaling, just to name a few. I am now going to start a prayer bible which I think will really help me. It's where you add your prayer request

 As, I'm sitting here typing I am listening to King of The Hill while sipping on my diet coke just minding my business. I'm in a good mood and I am very happy. I have reconnected with a good friend and enjoy chatting with her. We have been friends for a long time. Every time I would pray about God sending me a real friend God would place Her on my mind. Just talking to her again brought me such joy and clarity to my mind. I like that we can give each other good Godly advice. I am reminded of proverbs 17:17. A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. So, then I decided to look up what the Bible has to say about friendships. So, today I will be studying friendship and what the Bible says they should look like. I will also be asking myself some questions to self-reflect. Such as am I good friend? Do I support my friends?  Do I encourage my friends?  I never want to be ignorant of how I am. It's good for my mental health to self-reflect.  It's not a b

 I have been debating should I keep on blogging and trying. I really think I will because it's growing and helping me just as much as I hope it is helping others. I have been thinking of what I could blog about. I am going to blog about my everyday life. I don't keep my hours like regular people. What I mean is I sleep after noon till late at night. So, I usually go to bed around 10 am. and sleep till 3:30 pm then I get up for a while if I am tired then I will go back to slept and slept till 9 pm. I really believe in taking naps.  This year I learned what it means to place things in God's hands. If I'm facing very stressful situation that I know I can't fix or do anything about it. I give it to God and take a nap. I just place it in his hands and go to sleep. Now I no longer make list to figure anything out. I no longer stress over things I have no control over. I just tell God about it and let him handle it all. I tell him about each issue I am facing and give it o

 When I was growing up, they had a popular commercial where the guy would ask, can you hear me now? I really like that commercial and I often wonder if anyone really listens to me now. Does anyone really know me? My likes and dislikes have changed over the years. So, if it's been a while since we talked or hung out let me reintroduce myself.  My nickname is meme I don't go by my real name at all. I hate the sound of that name and I feel no connection to that name. If you happen to call me by my real name, I wont answer you and know you are from my past. But that's enough about that. So, back to me introducing myself which I am not really comfortable talking about myself. I still want to remain somewhat private for personal reasons and my safety.  Things I like are the 80's because I was a kid in the 80's and it brings back good memories for me the music, movies tv shows. I love the simple times of back then. I also like the 90's too I was a teenager in the 90

My life is totally different in this moment in time than ever before. My eyes are wide open, and I now see people more clearly than ever before. I know who's lying to me and about me. I see the snake in the grass, and I am not the only one either. If you got to lie about me to make people like you then go ahead and keep those people because obviously you need those people more than me. See I am happy over here minding my business being myself. I now cut out anyone and anything that brings drama in my life. No, matter who they are point blank period.  I get judge a lot because of the way I look and how I carry myself. I have 50 tattoos and I have my guard up at all times if I am in public. I really only trust maybe two people and my dog. I no longer allow people to push me around and I don't like to be around people at all. I keep my life very private to in a way this blog is a big step for me. I jokingly tell others I want a hoodie made that says, not friendly on the front and

I have briefly touched on some of my traumatic events that have happened in my life. I can't go into too much detail because of legal reasons at this point in time. However, at a later date all will be addressed.  I really don't want to make my blog all about that because I feel there is so much more about me than most people even realize or know. I used to say all the time don't underestimate me.  Growing up I always dreamed of going places. I don't mean just traveling but making something out of my life. I would daydream of packing up and moving to new places that no one knew me and starting my life over and new.  Finding a job and working my dream on the side till I make it. I know it sounds weird, but it was my dream.   I was talking to someone the other day and mentioned to them that I no longer lived in Louisiana in fact I hadn't since 2013. I just one day packed up what I could and moved out of state. I moved without a plan no job no home just went. I told my

 Happy 4th of July everyone as I am typing this, I hear the fireworks going off in the distance. There was no celebration at my place. No, friends over no family just me and my dog and we slept must of the day. I don't celebrate much anymore. In fact, I don't really have people in my life to celebrate with. It's not just this holiday its every holiday and my birthday. I don't write this to make you feel sorry for me. No, I write this to let people know things change people grow up and move on. Relationships end and families fall apart.  As I look back over my life, I don't have too many regrets but nevertheless I do still have them. I regret putting into others' lives so much that I forget to make a life for me. I regret not being selfish and pursue my dreams. I regret staying and allowing people to disrespect me. I regret not standing up for myself and telling the truth about people and certain situations.  Then I sit here and think about God's love for me

 I grew up in a small town in Louisiana, a town with no stop lights and where everyone knew everyone. I left that town long ago, but that town has never left me. It is where I learned so much about life. It is where I had many of my first in life. Some of those memories are good and bad but each memory has shaped me into who I am today. Looking back, I wouldn't change a thing I learned in that town.  I had my first kiss in that town got my heart broken in that town. It is where my daughter is buried with my Daddy and grandparents. It is where some of my happiest memories are held. In that town is where I got saved and fell in love with Jesus. That town is where I learned how to ride a bike and drive a car. It is also where I was bullied and learned I have mental illness.  Even though I have had some bad moments happen to me in life. I will not let that define who I am .

I have never been lost for words but somehow, I am now. Which is very surprising to me because all my life I been told I talk too much. I'm sitting here wondering what I should say. Would anyone care or want to read what I have to say? Could anyone relate to me and my life experiences? I have faced many trials in my life and want to share them with others. That maybe my life experiences could help someone else. That somehow by sharing and opening up about my life it could bring hope to someone else. My life has had many ups and downs, and this blog will be about all that plus advice I have learned along the way. I am going to use my life lessons to help others. So, welcome to my Messy Crazy Life Chronicles. I want to welcome you to this circus that I call life. I am the ring master and want you to sit down relax and enjoy.  Let me introduce myself. Please call me Meme {nickname}. I am a daughter,granddaughter,sister,wife . mom and now grandma. I am now in my forties and looking for